God is Faithful. All the time.

Shane Vismay Coleman.

Our precious little baby.  He was our 'surprise' in July.  That is why his middle name is 'Vismay'.  Vismay means 'surprise'.   I was wrapping my mind around another baby on the way.  Getting excited about 10 little fingers and 10 little toes to kiss.  The sweet scent of his baby breath after nursing.  Wondering if he would have red hair like his brother.  Nervous.  I have been out of the baby phase for a while now.  And...I just sent all my kids off to school!  When I told Jason the confirmation of what I had already thought (a positive on the test), he said, 'I have to go eat.'  Lol  Such a funny memory.  I still wasn't totally convinced, so I had the Doctor confirm it for me.  :)  Jason and I were both nervous, but excited.  We told the kids.  Oh...how excited those three were!  They couldn't wait to tell their friends.  We all believed our baby was a boy.  Jake was super excited to have his little brother sleep in his room.  He was going to take care of him at night.  The girls couldn't wait to change diapers, carry him, hold him, kiss him.  Jake talked to our little baby every day... multiple times a day. 

Then we lost our baby. 

I know there are many who have had a miscarriage.  It is a lonely time.  A sad realization that my little baby will not be held by me.  We won't know the color of his eyes, the scent of his skin, the color of his hair.  What was his personality? 

April 14th.  Due date.
August 20th.  Death date.

I would be 4 1/2 months along.  I am sure he would be kicking and we would feel it.  I am certain that I will think of him the rest of my life.  Hanging his ornament on the Christmas Tree was a stark reminder that next Christmas Shane would be 8 months old. 

God is so good.  I know that Shane is in Heaven.  I know he is rolling around giggling.  One day we will meet him.  When I get to Heaven I anticipate a little red head boy greeting me and I will meet him for the first time...